Breathing spaces
Through our practice of convening “Dare to Connect We-Labs” over the years, we have found that, often, in the presence of people from other groups different from our own, we stop breathing or hold our breath or breathe more shallowly. It’s as if we instinctively know we are less safe around people from other identity groups. Perhaps our “fight or flight” protective devices kick in and we brace ourselves to be misunderstood or to say/do the wrong thing. Especially when we are engaging across differences, most of us have had the experience of “getting it wrong” and feeling remorseful or defensive toward others from that same group.
As an antidote to these common reactions, we notice that connecting with others from our own subgroup is often easier. For example, when people of color come together apart from white people, we breathe more easily and deeply, both practically and metaphorically. We know that we are in the presence of others who may better understand our predicaments and dilemmas.
Over the past five years, we have been convening groups of white women, women of color and white men to explore what is possible in these similar identity groups. Contrary to what we see in some “affinity group” spaces, it is not enough to merely put groups together and assume similarity or automatic connectivity. Instead, we are learning what it takes to deepen contact and explore more fully what our subgroup has experienced and share strategies for addressing our own flat sides and developmental challenges.
At SRI, we are explicitly experimenting with the benefits of “Breathing Spaces”, asking ourselves how our work in subgroups can enhance our ability to come together across differences. We are identifying specific practices that enhance connection and allow us to challenge each other’s assumptions and biases. It is our hope that the deepened subgroup work positions us to engager with groups unlike our own in a more robust and heart-centered way.
As an antidote to these common reactions, we notice that connecting with others from our own subgroup is often easier. For example, when people of color come together apart from white people, we breathe more easily and deeply, both practically and metaphorically. We know that we are in the presence of others who may better understand our predicaments and dilemmas.
Over the past five years, we have been convening groups of white women, women of color and white men to explore what is possible in these similar identity groups. Contrary to what we see in some “affinity group” spaces, it is not enough to merely put groups together and assume similarity or automatic connectivity. Instead, we are learning what it takes to deepen contact and explore more fully what our subgroup has experienced and share strategies for addressing our own flat sides and developmental challenges.
At SRI, we are explicitly experimenting with the benefits of “Breathing Spaces”, asking ourselves how our work in subgroups can enhance our ability to come together across differences. We are identifying specific practices that enhance connection and allow us to challenge each other’s assumptions and biases. It is our hope that the deepened subgroup work positions us to engager with groups unlike our own in a more robust and heart-centered way.
